Hi, My name is Paul... Hi Paul
by, well, Paul
Fourth quarter, 1:14 showing on the clock. Texas A&M is beating Texas 21-14 in the Lonestar Showdown. The crowd, a sea of burnt orange, is shaking the concrete foundations of Darrell K. Royal Memorial Stadium, registering sound levels between 100 and 120 decibals. Texas is driving, currently on the 32 yard line. The quarterback takes the snap, retreats in a five step drop, rears back and lobs the ball into the corner of the endzone. However, it does not quite travel far enough. The cornerback snatches the ball out of the air and downs it in the end zone. The stadium suffers a blackout, and the game must be cancelled.
At least that's how I justify shutting my Playstation 2 off everytime I am losing a game. That is because I suffer from ITOS, Instant Turn-Off Syndrome. When I play the computer, I can't stand to lose, so I don't. I hit the switch on the back of the console, hit it again, press the reset button, and begin again with a fresh slate. However, I am not proud of my inability to let myself lose. In lieu of this, I have thought of a few alternatives to make myself feel better, at least until I find alternatives to these alternatives.
1. The easiest solution happens to be the shallowest solution. I remind you, this first point is only a quick fix as you will quickly become bored with it. Switch the difficulty settings to Rookie. How can you lose a game when the computer thinks you are either a blind three-year-old child, or a goat? You can't. No more turning-off games when you're losing, because the smallest lead you'll ever have is 23 points... from the coin toss. Consider yourself cured.
2. This solution requires a little bit of ingenuity. Duct tape has been proclaimed as a cure-all. And yes, duct tape can even cure ITOS. First, turn on your PS2 and stick a piece of tape on the power button to ensure it always stays on. Next, stick a piece of tape over the reset button and the eject button, as these can also effectively end your losing ways. Finally, secure the power cord in the console and the wall socket with tape so that pulling the plug cannot be an option. ITOS- cured.
3. My last solution does not waste the enery of cure #2. Buy a cordless controller. Find an ulta-comfortable seat or lay down on your bed while playing your game. When you are losing to your rival late in the fourth quarter, you will be less inclined to turn off the system, because, frankly, it's easier not too. Enjoy the paradise of you bean bag chair. Cherish the idyllic molding nature of moosh pillows on which you rest your head. Don't sweat losing the game because you're in heaven. You are free from the bonds of ITOS.
But seriously, positive aspects arise from losing. Whether in a video game, or a real sport, losing truly does build character. A loss allows you to evaluate your performance with a more critical eye than after a win. Losing is often a wake up call from complacency. Mainly, losing lets you appreciate the win. After losing a few games in a season, nothing is more satisfying than the achievement of an undefeated season.
So don't let ITOS claim another victim. Learn from your losses and you will become a better human being because of it.
Fourth quarter, 1:14 showing on the clock. Texas A&M is beating Texas 21-14 in the Lonestar Showdown. The crowd, a sea of burnt orange, is shaking the concrete foundations of Darrell K. Royal Memorial Stadium, registering sound levels between 100 and 120 decibals. Texas is driving, currently on the 32 yard line. The quarterback takes the snap, retreats in a five step drop, rears back and lobs the ball into the corner of the endzone. However, it does not quite travel far enough. The cornerback snatches the ball out of the air and downs it in the end zone. The stadium suffers a blackout, and the game must be cancelled.
At least that's how I justify shutting my Playstation 2 off everytime I am losing a game. That is because I suffer from ITOS, Instant Turn-Off Syndrome. When I play the computer, I can't stand to lose, so I don't. I hit the switch on the back of the console, hit it again, press the reset button, and begin again with a fresh slate. However, I am not proud of my inability to let myself lose. In lieu of this, I have thought of a few alternatives to make myself feel better, at least until I find alternatives to these alternatives.
1. The easiest solution happens to be the shallowest solution. I remind you, this first point is only a quick fix as you will quickly become bored with it. Switch the difficulty settings to Rookie. How can you lose a game when the computer thinks you are either a blind three-year-old child, or a goat? You can't. No more turning-off games when you're losing, because the smallest lead you'll ever have is 23 points... from the coin toss. Consider yourself cured.
2. This solution requires a little bit of ingenuity. Duct tape has been proclaimed as a cure-all. And yes, duct tape can even cure ITOS. First, turn on your PS2 and stick a piece of tape on the power button to ensure it always stays on. Next, stick a piece of tape over the reset button and the eject button, as these can also effectively end your losing ways. Finally, secure the power cord in the console and the wall socket with tape so that pulling the plug cannot be an option. ITOS- cured.
3. My last solution does not waste the enery of cure #2. Buy a cordless controller. Find an ulta-comfortable seat or lay down on your bed while playing your game. When you are losing to your rival late in the fourth quarter, you will be less inclined to turn off the system, because, frankly, it's easier not too. Enjoy the paradise of you bean bag chair. Cherish the idyllic molding nature of moosh pillows on which you rest your head. Don't sweat losing the game because you're in heaven. You are free from the bonds of ITOS.
But seriously, positive aspects arise from losing. Whether in a video game, or a real sport, losing truly does build character. A loss allows you to evaluate your performance with a more critical eye than after a win. Losing is often a wake up call from complacency. Mainly, losing lets you appreciate the win. After losing a few games in a season, nothing is more satisfying than the achievement of an undefeated season.
So don't let ITOS claim another victim. Learn from your losses and you will become a better human being because of it.
posted by sportzdudes at 9:35 PM
1 Comments:
I too suffered from a bad case of ITOS. In my first years playing my NCAA Football 2004 dynasty with UConn I found myself on a 72-game winning streak. Of course I had lost some of these games, but I just couldn't bring myself to take it like a man. I think I finally figured out that it's a friggen video game. I hate it when people "cheat" by turning off the game or turning the difficulty, so to quote Daredevil, I figured that "I'm not the bad guy."
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