The Bullpen

Baby You're a Rich Man

2007-04-02T12:26:00.000-04:00

by Brian

Alex Rodriguez has put up astounding numbers throughout his 13-year career, totaling 464 home runs, 1,347 RBIs, 2,067 hits, and a .305 batting average. In his early days as a member of the Seattle Mariners, sportswriters and fans alike swooned over the phenomenal potential he possessed. After three consecutive seasons of at least 41 home runs and 111 RBIs, he became a free agent and signed an astronomical $252 million, 10-year contract with the Texas Rangers to easily become the highest-paid player in all of baseball's history. After three seasons in Texas where he averaged 52 home runs and 132 RBIs, the New York Yankees who had lost infamous third-baseman Aaron Boone to a torn ACL, traded possibly their brightest young star, Alfonso Soriano, and others to acquire Rodriguez and his massive salary. Now entering his fourth season with the Yankees, he has amassed a total of 119 home runs, 357 RBIs, and a .299 batting average.

This being said, it is clear that A-Rod is one of the all-time great players and at only age 32, will go on to accomplish feats that we may not have ever seen before. However, if not for Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez has been one of the most highly-criticized and debated player in baseball, and has been subject to the wrath of boo-birds at his home of Yankee Stadium. How is it that such a spectacular player with great numbers in one of the biggest media markets in baseball is being booed by his own home fans? Perhaps the numbers 3, 8, and .221 have something to do with it. Respectively, these are his total home runs, RBIs, and batting average in his 3 postseasons with New York, totaling 20 games. Also taking in mind such incidents as the infamous "slap play" against then-Boston Red Sox pitcher Bronson Arroyo, he has not quite been Mr. October for the Yanks.

The New York Yankees, in terms of World Series championships, are the most successful team by far in Major League Baseball over the last century with 26. Its fanbase expects to be playing in October, and anything less than a World Series title is considered by many a failure. Owner George Steinbrenner is notorious for liberally opening his wallet in order to sign top-tier players for the purpose of winning a championship.

Since the beginning of last season, many experts from ESPN and other sports networks questioned the fans' right to boo Mr. Rodriguez. Numerous Yankee fan forums and blogs say that other fans don't have the right to boo A-Rod, and that they are not "true Yankees fans" for booing him. Being a Red Sox fan, I can say that I don't know what it is like to be a Yankee fan, nor do I know what being a "true" Yankee fan entails. But I do know what it is like to spend money on my favorite sports teams.

When the owner of a team writes out checks the size of the ones they give out to PGA Tour tournament winners to get all-star players, the prices of tickets, concessions, and merchandise among many other things skyrocket in order to compensate. When the owner explains to the fanbase that their ticket prices are going up because of these ridiculous salaries, doesn't this essentially mean that the Yankee fans themselves are indirectly paying the crazy salaries of players like Alex Rodriguez?

The point is this: in a market like New York where players are expected to thrive in big games, paying customers have every right in the world to boo an underachieving player in such situations like Alex Rodriguez, a player who has as big a part in raising the cost of enjoying a baseball game as anybody in history. I'm all for supporting players even through slumps, but it's about time that the baseball universe decides enough is enough, that A-Rod is responsible for his poor clutch play, that no longer should he expect the paying fans to unconditionally support him, and that he can't complain any longer about fans not supporting him. For Alex Rodriguez, he is at the point of no return. He must step up in the big games or else his time with the Yankees is doomed. It's time for A-Rod to put up or shut up.

Football Jargon Explained

2007-01-02T17:45:00.000-05:00

by Brian

Let's face it: sometimes the sport of football can downright confuse some people with its seemingly endless lexicon of terms. There are some especially confusing terms which describe trick plays, as we saw in the 2007 Tostitos Fiesta Bowl where Boise State defeated Oklahoma due in part to a slew of trick plays. I've been assigned to help the common man understand some of these trick plays.

1. The Hail Mary
Though not a trick play, this term can confuse people. A "Hail Mary" is the coined term for a desperate, long pass attempt, usually in the closing seconds of a half or a game.

2. The Hook and Ladder
The "hook and ladder" is a pass to a wide receiver who runs a curl route. Another receiver's job is to run a streak by him. The receiver who made the catch pitches it to the already-going-full-speed second receiver. Surprise is the key element that catches the defense off-guard.

3. Statue of Liberty Play
The "Statue of Liberty play" is a fake pass by the quarterback, who holds the ball down near his hip in his non-throwing hand. While the quarterback is faking the throw, the running back takes the ball out of the quarterback's hand and takes off with it.

4. Flea Flicker
The "flea flicker" is a relatively simple trick play. The quarterback hands off to the tailback as if it was a running play. However, the tailback then pitches it back to the quarterback who then proceeds as if it were a pass play all along.

5. Play Action Pass
The "play action pass" is also a simple trick play, in which the quarterback fakes a handoff to the running back, then proceeds as if it were a pass play all along.

6. Halfback Direct
The "halfback direct" is also very simple. The quarterback and running back line up in a shotgun formation (both a few steps behind the offensive line, and next to each other). Instead of snapping it to the quarterback like usual, the center snaps the ball to the halfback who takes off running with it.

There you have it, I hope I have been able to help you so that at the next tailgating party you can feel comfortable knowing what your football-savvy friends are talking about.

The Top 5 - 2nd Edition

2006-12-04T23:29:00.000-05:00

The Top 5 Best Sports (and Sports-Related) Commercials (currently running)
(in no particular order)
by Brian

1. Tom Emanski's videos
It is not possible to leave this commercial out. Running since the early '90s, Mr. Emanski has one of the longest-running sports commercials in the history of television. These videos will make your kids play better. Tom would know, he led AAU teams to back-to-back-to-back AAU national championships. Oh, and they're endorsed by Fred McGriff. Cheap grandpa hat's off to this dynasty.

2. Miller Lite's "Man Law" commercials
These are hilarious. There's not a ton more to say about them. It's extremely well-casted, and I really do like the chemistry they all have with each other, with Burt Reynolds as the leader. Plus, one of my personal heroes, Aron Ralston, appears in some of them. Google him if you don't know him. Excellent work, Miller.

3. Coors Light's Press Conference commercials
These are very well made. It's still very hard to tell whether or not they took actual clips of press conferences and edited them in. It doesn't really matter, because they're just as hilarious either way. And you cannot tell me that it produced one of the best commercial facial expressions ever, thanks to Bill Walsh.

4. ESPN's SportsCenter TV commercial franchise
These are hands down some of the most hilarious sports commercials ever, making people believe that ESPN anchors and athletes all mingle in the same place. Not to mention they're all such clever commercials dealing with actual aspects of the athletes' personalities and anchors' quirks. Typical, ESPN makes a good product. Hmm...

5. Just for Men Haircolor featuring Walt "Clyde" Frazier and Keith Hernandez

This is not necessarily a good commercial. It deals with the ridiculous concept of Big Brother-type spying by former athletes, who run a play-by-play and color commentary of poor "Mr. Graybeard" trying to get a date. "Reeeeeeeeeee, jected!!!!!!" Such overacting, but such fun. Thanks, former All-Stars.

Honorable Mention: Reebok's Terry Tate, Office Linebacker
This only gets an honorable mention because it's not currently running. But, this provided one of the most side-splitting sports commercials in the history of all mass communication.

Integrity and Character

2006-12-02T21:43:00.000-05:00

by Paul

By January 15th, 2007, the Baseball Writer's Association of America will have elected a new class of spectacular athletes into the Baseball Hall of Fame. According to the Hall of Fame's website, voting is based on "the player's record, playing ability, integrity, sportsmanship, character, and contributions to the team(s) on which the player played." Out of the previously stated qualifications, the two controversial words continue to be integrity and character.
According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, integrity is defined as, "adherence to a code of values." In the same dictionary, character is defined as, "moral excellence."
Though the above definitions are only clearly ambiguous, I can mention one phrase that defines neither integrity nor character:

"I am not here to talk about the past."

Mark McGwire, the former slugger for St. Louis Cardinals and Oakland Athletics, is on this year's list of possible candidates to be enshrined in Cooperstown. McGwire has fantastic career numbers. He is seventh on the career home run list with 583. He was Rookie of the Year in 1987, won the World Series in 1989, earned a Gold Glove in 1990, and played in 12 all-star games. In the magical 1998 season, McGwire set the single season home run record by passing Roger Maris on his way to 70 round-trippers. The record, later broken by Barry Bonds, is widely viewed as the greatest personal mark across all sports. McGwire, along with Sammy Sosa, saved the game of baseball from years of striking and fans tiring of players versus owners arguments. McGwire and Sosa ushered in a new era in Major League Baseball: The Home Run Era.

Mark McGwire also ushered in a more conspicuous era: The Steroid Era.

During that 1998 season, a writer for the Associated Press, Steve Wilstein, observed a bottle of Androstenedione, the dietary supplement known as Andro, on a shelf in McGwire's locker. At the time, Andro was deemed illegal by the NFL and the IOC, but was not banned in Major League Baseball. However, it was later named a banned substance in the league and banned from sale by the United States Food and Drug Administration. Wilstein, the reporter, found the evidence that Big Mac's mammoth physique was not all natural. Instead, McGwire used a steroid that causes impotence, atrophied testicles, and liver disease, according to the FDA website. It is especially dangerous to children as it can induce premature puberty and close the growth plates of long bones. In other words, if boys and girls take Andro like Big Mac did in order to get big, it is likely they will never reach adult stature.

On March 17, 2005, professional baseball players, including McGwire, were asked to testify in a Congressional hearing on rampant steroid use in baseball. After Jose Canseco's incendiary book Juiced was published, public outcry rang through the halls of Congress and in baseball Commissioner Bud Selig's office for changes to be made.

After Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro told the congressional panel that they did not use steroids, McGwire faced the less-than-scathing questoiners. Mark McGwire did not face the questions with the grace that Sammy did in pretending not to understand English, or the forcefulness of Palmeiro. Period. According to cnn.com, when Big Mac was asked by St. Louis congressman William Clay if he could tell fans he played "with honesty and integrity", McGwire answered, "I'm not going to go into the past or talk about my past. I'm here to make a positive influence on this." McGwire went on to echo that refrain several times and added, ""My lawyers have advised me that I cannot answer these questions without jeopardizing my friends, my family and myself." While exercising his Fifth Amendment right per say, McGwire did jeopardize his chance of getting into the Hall of Fame.

Because Mark McGwire could not answer Congressman Clay's question about "honesty and integrity," Hall of Fame voters cannot select him for Cooperstown. If voting was based on solely on numbers, records, and wins, McGwire would be deserving. However, in following election criteria, McGwire's big bronze head will never be found in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Hail Mary! (Mother of all passes)

2006-11-30T11:14:00.000-05:00

by: Josh

"Da Bomb is in." Football Sunday's have gotten more exciting during the 06-07 NFL season. Highlight reel, breath-taking plays have lined the short halftime shows, giving fans a reason to stick around the T.V. during halftime instead of heading off to the kitchen. With defenses getting smarter and faster, screens and option plays have no longer become viable options, that have made playoff teams successful in recent years.

The jury on possession receivers is out and the era for speed receivers has begun. Plays over the sixty yard mark have been numerous as I look over the stats every Tuesday morning. There have even been an increase in plays over 80 yards (including two eighty-three yard bombs to the Bills Lee Evans, which ironically matches his number)that have fantasy players going goo-goo. New hands off rules have given receivers an advantage at making bigger plays and have made them more consistant in the fantasy world. Having speed receivers on your fantasy team can almost assure you atleast one 50+ yard play, tied in with some pay dirt, once a week. Players such as; Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson, Steve Smith, and surprise rookie Marques Colston have cashed in handsomely with the new laws and will probably be rewarded off the field in the near future.
So ladies and gentlemen, get your speedsters started because they'll be in for awhile. And for all you fantasy basement dwellers that picked LaMont Jordan in the first round, you've learned your lesson. Pick the speedy guys with a quarterback who has a live arm and you'll be golden next season. So all-in-all remember that "Da Bomb" is in.

wtf mate?

2006-11-29T00:05:00.000-05:00

by Kevin

There's an epidemic rapidly spreading across the NFL,and no, it's not bird flu . It appears as though fans, as well as coaches, have become as fickle as teenage girls. The way quality quarterbacks are being treated is not only unfair but will more than likely damage the team. The most recent of these atrocities is Mike Shannahan's decision to bench an established winner in Jake Plummer, for rookie Jay Cutler who has never played a down in the NFL. The Jake Plummer that is being relegated to riding the pine is the same Jake Plummer who lead the Broncos to the AFC Championship game last season and has them poised to make the playoffs again at 7-4. Being at the helm of a team in the middle of a playoff hunt is no easy task, and let's face it, Jay Cutler did not face the epitome of pressure while at Vanderbilt.

At the first sign of trouble fans are crying for their starting quarterback to be replaced. In Chicago, how can fans justify pleaing for Brian Greisie when, despite inconsistant play, Rex Grossman has the Bears at 9-2 and at one time 8-0! These are the same fans who up until recently filled Soldier Field with chants of MVP for the former Gator.

Perhaps one of the most ludicrous questions that has been posed is whether or not to bench Mike Vick for Matt Schaub. Are you kidding me? Mike Vick is not the problem on the Falcons. The only solution that Matt Schaub could provide would be not to throw so hard so maybe the Falcons receivers could catch the ball.

The outbreak of exchanging a starting quarterback for an unproven backup has been out of control over the past five weeks because of the success the Dalls Cowboys have had after they benched Drew Bledsoe for the undrafted Tony Romo. Since being made the starter Romo has gone 4-1 and vaulted the Cowboys into first place. Tony Romo simply can not play at this level for much longer. Sure he's a decent quarterback but the numbers he's putting up will not continue. Soon we'll see the Tony Romo that was present in the 2nd half against Dallas's Monday night loss to the Giants.

Coaches and fans need to take a look at their entire team and stop looking to use the quarterback as a scapegoat. There are 21 other players on the feild to be scrutinized and i find it hard to believe that a quarterback is the source of a teams problem. To condemn a QB after one or two bad games is ridiculous and i hope the Broncos and Mike Shannahan pay the price.

The Lightning Round

2006-11-28T23:51:00.000-05:00

by Brian

Manny Ramirez is on the trade block. Again. Sure he's a headache and doesn't always play hard enough, but he gets the job done when they need him, even if the best thing he does is hit behind David Ortiz, forcing the opposing team to pitch to him. Not to mention the fans love him. However, if this is on the grounds of Manny's atrocity of a hairdo from the beginning of the 2006 season, then I can't really blame Theo.

The Dallas Cowboys cut Mike Vanderjagt in favor of Martin Gramatica. Vanderjagt is statistically the most accurate kicker in NFL history, but is quite possibly the least clutch kicker in NFL history as well. All I can say is, New York Yankees, take note.

Chicago Bulls center Ben Wallace has been reprimanded by coach Scott Skiles for deliberately disobeying Skiles' team policy barring players from wearing headbands. On one hand I would say Ben Wallace has a recent NBA championship, so let him do what he wants. But on the other hand I say Skiles has absolute authority over his players; who would dare question a guy who used to light up NBA Jam?

The Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback tore his ACL and is out for this season, and his status for next season is uncertain. Another unfortunate incident for Donovan McNabb.

Champ Car driver Paul Tracy will most likely miss Champ Car's last race of the season due to a DWIOAGC.....driving while intoxicated on a golf cart. Apparently he tried jumping a sand dune and broke his right shoulder blade. Said Tracy of his accident, "...it sounded like a good idea at the time, but it didn't pan out that way." No, Mr. Tracy. It didn't.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Mike Vick was fined $10,000 for flipping off fans who insulted him following the Falcons' loss to the New Orleans Saints November 26. The league quickly repealed the fine when they realized that he is Mike Vick and they are not Mike Vick.

What the Hell is Going on Out There?

2006-11-28T19:17:00.000-05:00

by Paul

It's only been three games, right?
They still have a winning record, right?
As of now, they are making the playoffs as a wild card team, right?

Then why do I feel like Jack watching the Titanic sink?

Clearly, the New York Giants' season hasn't been all bad. The Giants are currently a playoff team. They have a winning record. Tiki Barber is playing great football in his final NFL season. Brandon Jacobs runs like Spike in The Little Giants, dragging a whole team on his shoulders. After a 1-2 start, the Giants responded with a five game win streak featuring Super Bowl quality play.

But those Giants seem as ancient history as The Land Before Time I.

The Giants' five game winning streak came to a sudden end after squandering a 10 point first half lead to the Monsters of the Midway, the Chicago Bears. Adding insult to injury, literally, the Giants allowed an 108-yard missed field goal return to Devin Hester. There was no improvement in the following week as once again, after a strong start, the Giants fell to the Jacksonville Jaguars on Monday night.

The Jaguars and the Bears are both good teams. In the NFL, losses to good teams are excusable. But there is no excuse for the Giants' latest loss. After leading 21-0 at halftime, New York gave up 24 straight points in the second half to finally succumb to the Titans. I find a small bit of irony in that the Titans have finally sunk Jack's Titanic.

Before the showdown with the Bears, the Giants were being touted as possible NFC and Super Bowl champions. Now the G-Men are barely clinging to their playoff lives stumbling into a rematch with the conference rivals and leaders Dallas Cowboys.

What has happened to the Giants?

ESPN.com posed the questoin: "What's wrong the the New York Giants?" The possible answers were A) Tom Coughlin B) Eli Manning or C) injuries. I'll go with D) All of the Above. First, the Giants have been completely decimated by injuries. On the defense, defensive end Osi Umenyiora is questionable with a hip, linebacker Brandon Short is questionable with a quad, defensive end Michael Strahan has a foot, corner back Sam Madison has a hamstring, nose tackle Barry Cofield has a groin, and corner back Corey Webster has a toe. On offense, tackle Luke Petitgout has a foot and receiver Sinorice Moss has a quad. Also linebacker LaVar Arrington and receiver Amani Toomer are done for the season after being placed on injured reserve. The makeshift defense has played well at times, but it is difficult to ask a backup to play above his skill level for four quarters. Also, the remaining starters feel like they need to pick up the slack, but run out of steam towards the end of the game. The offense should have nothing to complain about with losing just two starters in Toomer and Petitgout. However, Petitgout, a left tackle, is the most important lineman, besides the center, for a right-handed quarterback. He protects the passer from being blindsided, and with his starting left tackle out, Eli Manning has looked as uncomfortable in the pocket as John Ashcroft looked on The Daily Show. In addition, with the loss of Toomer, Eli is missing his most sure-handed receiver who is an expert at picking up first downs on third down plays.

Though the Giants are now as thin as Craig Counsell, injuries can be worked around with good coaching. I believe Tom Coughlin is a good coach. In Jacksonville. Tom Coughlin's disciplinarian reputation serves no purpose in New York City. In the nation's biggest media market, Coughlin cannot control his players like he did in Jacksonville. While trying, he looks like the squirrel from Ice Age trying to stop the ice cliff from melting. Coughlin can't control personalities like Jeremy Shockey, Plaxico Burress, Tiki Barber, or Michael Strahan like he controlled Fred Taylor, Jimmy Smith, and Tony Boselli. So instead of admonishing your players every time they speak out, why not use the personalities to develop some sort of character for the team. Under Coughlin, the Giants cannot play with any sort of swagger, but rather always seem to reflect the perplexed/irascible Tom Coughlin face. It seems like they never know when to scowl at the opponent, or question a play call. Not only that, but Eli now has a face like that of Johnny getting ready to hold the ball for a kick from Marcus in the Little Giants. He looks like he's afraid of getting kicked where it counts.

And that leads me to Eli. I am a firm believer that Eli can't be benched, traded, released, exiled, or excommunicated. Eli Manning is the New York Giants' quarterback, not Philip Rivers. Eli doesn't lack arm strenght, leadership, foot work, or accuracy. What Eli lacks is confidence. With all of New York City instantly placing him on a plane with Isaiah Thomas, experts comparing him to the suddenly hot Rivers, and still others calling for him to be benched, Eli is being crushed by the behemoth that is the Big Apple. With his calm and quiet demeanor, Eli's audibles are being drowned out by the sound of cameras flashing and reporters constantly questioning his ability. Eli needs to gain confidence in a hurry. Perhaps next game, early short passes to Barber and to Shockey will improve his accuracy for the rest of the game. Until he can reestablish himself as the offensive leader, allow Tiki to carry the team. He can run on every team in the league if the coaches stick with him. Also, defensive players will have to go back to looking to the run first, taking some pressure off of Eli.

Though the last nail is not quite in the coffin of the New York Giants, changes need to be made, and quick. The Giants are still in the playoffs. With a win over the Cowboys on Sunday, the Giants will once again be atop the NFC East. More importantly, the Giants can gain some much needed momentum. After Dallas, with Carolina, Philadelphia, New Orleans, and Washington on the schedule, momentum and confidence will be needed for the Giants to remain in the playoff picture. Though a tall order, I have a feeling that these Giants will "never let go."

Da Bears Are Annoying

2006-11-13T02:07:00.000-05:00

by Kevin

Everybody knows him. He's the kid who forgot to do his homework, but the teacher was absent. He's the kid who always seems to be in the right place at the right time. He's the annoying kid who is not annoying on purpose, but is annoying because everything seems to fall softly into his lap and in your case everything falls so that it just misses your lap and compromise your chance at reproduction.
The NFL has welcomed one such kid, the Chicago Bears (and no it's not the fact that their coach is named Lovie). Not to take anything away from their 8-1 record, but the way the Bears win, they must have to stick rabbits feet in their helmets. Think back to their week 6 win over Arizona where they won despite being down 20 at half time not scoring an offensive touchdown. Some people would attribute this stunning victory to their being a great team. I credit it to the Cardinals sucking and giving them a gift wrapped win.
Which brings us to their most recent win. A week after being beaten by the frequently hapless Miami Dolphins, the Bears beat fellow NFC powerhouse New York Football Giants 38-20. Once again, they were virtually handed the game because of a more sub-par than usual by the young Manning and thanks in part to a 108 yard return of a missed field goal. Correct me if I'm wrong, but returning a missed field goal is THE most annoying way to score a touchdown in football, and the Bears have done it twice in the past 4 years!
Perhaps what is most annoying about the Bears is that they don't go out and win games. They let the teams they're playing lose them. When the Bears get to the playoffs, they will have to face teams that will be playing well and more than likely, and hopefully, will lose their first game. Sometimes this kid needs to have that teacher actually be in when the paper is due and feel what it is like to get a zero.

Hi, My name is Paul... Hi Paul

2006-11-09T21:35:00.000-05:00

by, well, Paul

Fourth quarter, 1:14 showing on the clock. Texas A&M is beating Texas 21-14 in the Lonestar Showdown. The crowd, a sea of burnt orange, is shaking the concrete foundations of Darrell K. Royal Memorial Stadium, registering sound levels between 100 and 120 decibals. Texas is driving, currently on the 32 yard line. The quarterback takes the snap, retreats in a five step drop, rears back and lobs the ball into the corner of the endzone. However, it does not quite travel far enough. The cornerback snatches the ball out of the air and downs it in the end zone. The stadium suffers a blackout, and the game must be cancelled.
At least that's how I justify shutting my Playstation 2 off everytime I am losing a game. That is because I suffer from ITOS, Instant Turn-Off Syndrome. When I play the computer, I can't stand to lose, so I don't. I hit the switch on the back of the console, hit it again, press the reset button, and begin again with a fresh slate. However, I am not proud of my inability to let myself lose. In lieu of this, I have thought of a few alternatives to make myself feel better, at least until I find alternatives to these alternatives.
1. The easiest solution happens to be the shallowest solution. I remind you, this first point is only a quick fix as you will quickly become bored with it. Switch the difficulty settings to Rookie. How can you lose a game when the computer thinks you are either a blind three-year-old child, or a goat? You can't. No more turning-off games when you're losing, because the smallest lead you'll ever have is 23 points... from the coin toss. Consider yourself cured.
2. This solution requires a little bit of ingenuity. Duct tape has been proclaimed as a cure-all. And yes, duct tape can even cure ITOS. First, turn on your PS2 and stick a piece of tape on the power button to ensure it always stays on. Next, stick a piece of tape over the reset button and the eject button, as these can also effectively end your losing ways. Finally, secure the power cord in the console and the wall socket with tape so that pulling the plug cannot be an option. ITOS- cured.
3. My last solution does not waste the enery of cure #2. Buy a cordless controller. Find an ulta-comfortable seat or lay down on your bed while playing your game. When you are losing to your rival late in the fourth quarter, you will be less inclined to turn off the system, because, frankly, it's easier not too. Enjoy the paradise of you bean bag chair. Cherish the idyllic molding nature of moosh pillows on which you rest your head. Don't sweat losing the game because you're in heaven. You are free from the bonds of ITOS.

But seriously, positive aspects arise from losing. Whether in a video game, or a real sport, losing truly does build character. A loss allows you to evaluate your performance with a more critical eye than after a win. Losing is often a wake up call from complacency. Mainly, losing lets you appreciate the win. After losing a few games in a season, nothing is more satisfying than the achievement of an undefeated season.
So don't let ITOS claim another victim. Learn from your losses and you will become a better human being because of it.

The Red Jersey

2006-11-08T22:05:00.000-05:00

by Paul

Daniel Bateman lines up at linebacker during practice. Bateman is a former Gulf War veteran and also a former D.C. Swat team member. The quarterback snaps the ball, and Danny charges across the line to decimate the quarterback. Coach Jimmy McGinty says, "Good hit. Danny, in practice we don't hit the guys in the red shirts." Danny counters, "I know, coach, but I see that red and I just wanna go after it, like a bull, you know?" Quarterback Shane Falco adds, "Red. Means stop."
The above seen from the movie The Replacements, illustrates a new trend in the National Football League. As quarterbacks are increasingly becoming valuable commodities in promotions and advertising, the league and its officials have consciously, or sub-consciously, enacted a "hands-off" precedent for defenders. More and more roughing the passer calls are littering the games. It leads to the question, where has real football gone? Never again will we see a quarterback helicoptering into the endzone in order to secure a superbowl ring. Why? Quarterbacks have become the images of the league. Stars like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, and Carson Palmer are too valuable to ticket sales to be sulking on the sidelines like Drew Bledsoe. The league protects its stars.
Contact and hitting are part of football. In order to end a play, in most instances, one body ends up on top of another body. We cannot blame defenders for running into quarterbacks after a hard charge when he still had the ball. As Newton would say, "that much weight ain't too easy to stop." (Don't quote me on that). As we saw in last season's playoffs with the instance of Kimo von Oelhoffen and Carson Palmer, the quarterback is in a vulnerable position. He should expect contact, and in most cases, he does. Officials are too quick to throw their flags in situations that most quarterbacks would consider just part of their job.
Quarterbacks should welcome contact. Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass encouraged his offensive linemen to let a defender through so he could prove a point upon flipping the defender over his back. Becky "the Icebox" O'Shea proved a similar point on Spike, the formidable defender of the Pee-Wee Cowboys.
A young quarterback like Andrew Walter of the Oakland Raiders would garner more respect if he let planned to flip Lofa Tatupu over his head, rather than succumbing to his incessant pressure as he did Monday night.
There are physical quarterbacks in the league. Michael Vick is criticized for taking too much contact. Brett Favre is not one to slide at the one yard line even if he team is down by 27. But alas, these players are a dying breed with only occasional newcomers like Vince Young and Tony Romo.
So while referees litter the field with their yellow flags, and coaches grimace with every knock a quarterback takes, tickets will be sold, American Express will be endorsed, and all will be right in the NFL front office. But there will still be something missing in the hearts of NFL fans like me across the country.

Louisville more like Boreafill

2006-11-08T21:51:00.000-05:00

by Kevin

,
As the college football season nears its close two things are inevitable. The ubiquity of Lee Corso and debate over the innerworkings of the BCS ranking system. Seldom a year has gone by since its inception that has not been riddled with controversy and this year is no different. Should Louisville finish the season undefeated and the winner of Ohio State vs. Michigan as well, an interesting situation will arise.
Should anybody really be considering keeping Louisville, an undefeated team, out of the BCS championship game? Yes. Regardless of the fact that they have no losses on their records, the Big East simply cannot compete with the best teams in the nation. The fact they had, up until last week, 3 undefeated teams is irrelevant when you consider that the hardest competition they face all year is each other. Until teams like UConn, USF, Pittsburgh, and Cincinnati break free of mediocrity, the chances of a team from the Big East making it to the BCS championship game are very slim. Of the non-conference games the Cardinals have played, none are currently ranked in the top 25. If Louisville were to be matched up against any other top 10 opponent (except West Virginia) they would be embarrassed. It is ludicrous to believe that they can compete with Ohio State and Michigan and it is insulting to talented one-loss teams like Florida, Texas, and Auburn to be put behind and inferior team.
It is widely accepted that the SEC is the best, toughest, and most deep conference in college football. To go through the SEC with one loss, and to ultimately win the championship, should put the team ahead of any undefeated team from a lesser conference. The Gators have had to play Tennessee, Auburn, and LSU who are all ranked in the top 15 and also held off a very good Georgia team. Auburn has also had to play an equally difficult schedule, with their one loss coming to Arkansas who is on the verge of entering the top 10. Texas would also serve as a better candidate to contend for the national championship because their only loss has come to number one Ohio State and have had to play a number of difficult opponents as well, like Oklahoma, Nebraska, and Texas A&M.
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Not only would it be unfair to quality teams who deserve to be in the championship, it would be unfair to us, the college football fan, to have to watch an obviously underqualified team in Louisville getting trounced by a much better team. Hopefully in it's infinite wisdom the all mighty computer will provide us with a fair and entertaining championship game in January.

The Top 5 - 1st Edition

2006-11-08T17:16:00.000-05:00

The Top 5 Best-Looking Female Sportscasters
(in no particular order)
by Brian

1.Bonnie Bernstein

My all-time favorite female sideline reporter. Ms. Bernstein has graced the sidelines of NFL football, NCAA basketball, and more. Classic beauty and congeniality make her my number one.

2. Summer Sanders

You cannot have a top 5 list of good-looking female sports reporters without mentioning this beauty. Not only does she do a fine job, but she was also an Olympic gold medal swimmer in the 1992 games in Barcelona. She currently appears on NBA Inside Stuff and FSN's The Sports List, and previously hosted the cult classic game show Figure It Out! on Nickelodeon. What boy of our generation didn't drool at the mere sight of her standing next to Billy the Answer Head?

3. Heather Cox

Heather currently appears as a sideline reporter for the WNBA and college football on the ESPN family of networks. She is also gorgeous.

Okay, so this picture isn't actually the same Heather Cox. But wouldn't she rock if she were a sideline reporter too?

4. Erin Andrews

An ESPN family of networks reporter, Erin has appeared on the sidelines of college football, college basketball and MLB, as well as the NHL. More good information is that she was a member of the Dazzlers, the University of Florida's dance team.

5. Tony Siragusa

Okay, so "The Goose" isn't actually good-looking, nor is he a woman. But c'mon, look at the man-boobs on that guy. He has to score some points somewhere.

Does Brady have the Zebras on his Fave5?

2006-11-07T09:57:00.000-05:00

I am a Bills fan. I'm just going to let you know that now, so you can stop reading if you think that this is going to be a load of crap. Now if you are still reading this then I assume that you either agree with me or you just want to hear what I have to say. For your sake, hopefully both.

Growing up in New England I have had the chance to watch the Patriots through the years and have seen my fair share of dazzling Brady performances. However I have come to realize that New England's second coming of Jesus usually gets calls to swing in his favor. At first I was reluctant to make such an observation, because I believe that Tom Brady is a very good quarterback and a World-Class guy. Over the past few weeks this point of mine has been proven further and further. It seems that Brady and his top-notch coach Bill Belichick are able to almost talk referees out of making certain calls. One such call comes to my mind recently and that was two weeks ago against the Minnesota Vikings. The score was 17-7 and the Vikings were driving, playing quite well actually. It was third and long and the Vikes had to convert or else the would have to punt because they were out of reach of a field goal by Ryan Longwell. Brad Johnson attempted to throw it down field but changed his mind last minute when he saw Jermaine Wiggins wide open on the weak side of the defense. Brad threw the pass low so the lineback Mike Vrabel couldn't come over the top of Wiggins and catch it. Wiggins made a tough, but good catch to get the first down and keep a Vikings drive alive, starting to gain momentum in their favor. Soon enough Bill and Brady were in the Line Judge's ear and after about ten seconds the call was overturned without any indication of a challenge. The replays CLEARLY showed the it was indeed a catch and that the referees used poor judgement to over turn a call that they had gotten correct. No coach or player should ever be able to argue a ref out of a call, only instant replay should be used to determine if the call was correct or not. I can name several other occasions where this is true in Patriots games. I am not writing this because I dislike Brady or Belichick, because in fact I respect both of them as division rivals. I am not even writing about Bills-Patriots games for the fear that you won't take me seriously. If you live in New England and are a Patriots fan you are most likely too naive to see that this does indeed happen. Sure you can argue it or defend your team, but people outside of the Patriots fan base are slowly starting to realize that this has become norm fo the "Darling Team of the NFL." I do not think there is any bribery or anything illegal like that, but I do think there is something fishy going on here.

So as long as the Pats keep getting the calls, Mr. Zebra and Co. will remain on Mr. Brady's "Fave5"

*All naming rights to "Fave5" are owned and operated by T-Mobile Cellular Company. Any misuse of this name without written consent of the company will face prosecution. 2005.

Drive my Carr

2006-11-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

by Kevin

With the first selection in the 2002 draft the expansion Houston Texans selected arguably the best player in Fresno State history in quarterback David Carr. The selection seemed like a good choice, after all he had lead the Bulldogs out of relative obscurity an to an 11-3 record and BCS bowl consideration in 2001.
However after his first game, an impressive win against the Cowboys on national television, things were seldom easy for Carr.
Throughout much of his 5-year career Carr has been much maligned for his penchant for being sacked, throwing interceptions, and fumbles. To lay all the blame on him for these unfavorable stats is not only unfair but inaccurate. When he Texans drafted him in 2002 they failed to draft or put together anything resembling of an offensive line and supporting offensive talent. Even the all time great quarterbacks had a good talent to back them up. John Elway had Terrel Davis when he won his two Super Bowls, Joe Montana had John Taylor and Jerry Rice, and Troy Aikman had Emmitt Smith. Once again though, the Texan ownership had spat in the face of David Carr passing up the opportunity to get proven offensive weapon Reggie Bush for defensive endMario Williams. As the season has played out the pick has been revealed to be more and more ludicrous.
Even if Carr were capable of doing something with nothing, the permeable wall that they call an offensive line would not give him the opportunity to do so. Over the past four seasons Carr has been sacked 208 times. That is 137 more than Peyton Manning and an average of 52 sacks a season. With such little time to throw, and the prospect of being blindsided every time he drops back not even Tom Brady could win more than 5 games. What should the Texans do to combat this problem? The answer is simple, trade David Carr. That may seem to contradict what I'm trying to say but if they want do what's best for them they'll put him in a place where he has a chance to showcase what he can do. It is not fair to him to put up with the beatings, and the critisizm for underprodcution. So please, Texans ownership, trade David Carr and maybe he can show the world what he is capable of.

Ugly Betty?

2006-11-05T14:41:00.000-05:00

by: Paul

News was recently announced that Major League Baseball has plans of building an office in China. MLB hopes that this office will help promote the sport within the countries populous of 1.3 billion. Baseball, already popular in Japan and South Korea, has little followers in the world's largest country. The two most popular sports in China, based on viewership, are basketball and soccer. Other popular sports include table tennis, badminton, martial arts, and pool. Baseball is a relative new-comer to the athletics stage in China. China's professional baseball league began in 2002, and has gained few fans.
However, in 2008, the Olympics will be held in Beijing. With baseball and softball already erased from the Olympic roster in London 2012, baseball will have seemingly a final chance to prove it can succeed in an international fan base.
With the recent efforts to broaden the global reach of baseball through projects like the World Baseball Classic and the office in China, one should question whether or not Bud Selig is focusing his attention on the right markets.
Mr. Selig should turn his attention to the domestic market. The 2006 World Series, featuring the Detroit Tigers and the St. Louis Cardinals, had an average television rating of 10.1 and a share of 17. Ony 17% of Americans with their televisions on were tuned in to the Series. On October 27, the night of game five, CSI rated higher than the game, and Ugly Betty was close behind.
Ugly Betty.
For that week, game five was eleventh in ratings. Though a record number of patrons filled seats in stadiums, very few people watch the sport on television. Compared to the Super Bowl XL's rating/share of 41.6/62, it is easy to declare football as the new national pasttime. Even the 2006 Daytona 500 drew more audience with 11.3/23 rating/share. Baseball is slowly declining in a world of shorter attention spans, violence, and speed. The sport can be saved, but only if Bud Selig turns his attention to the domestic market.

Best Cinematic Sports Moment

2006-11-04T23:42:00.000-05:00

by Kevin

There certainly are a great deal of memorable moments in sports movies. One might think the best scene would come from a classic like Rudy, Hoosiers, or Field of Dreams. But that would be incorrect. The most well done scene comes from one of the best movies not just from sports movie history, but in all of film, Air Bud. There are a sleu of scenes from Air Bud that almost make you cry, however the cream of the crop takes place at the apex of the film.
The team is celebrating another victory on the tail of their spirited mascot. Despite the win, one thing overshadowed it, the inability of a certain individual on the team to catch the ball. Sniffing out some danger, our furry hero, Buddy, leads his new found owner, Josh along with his pack of cronies into the gym where the coach is giving the aforementioned stone hands some one on one practice time. Despite the individual attention the kid is getting he does not appreciate it and is crying, and clearly not attempting to fix his problem as he just blocks the ball with his hands rather than catching them. For some reason unbenownst to me, Josh and company find fault in the coach and fire him! FIRE HIM!
It is the emotion, drama, and controversy which make this the most powerful scene in sports movie history. I challenge you to find a better one.

Two Simple Rules for Wearing Sports Apparel

2006-11-04T23:39:00.000-05:00

by Brian

The basic rules for wearing sports apparel are really quite simple, yet for some reason people still don't seem to understand them. I mean like, really simple.

1. Never mix teams from the same sports league (MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL) at the same time.

2. Never mix two colleges at the same time.

Mixing any two teams or schools who can beat each other is contradicting. It's sort of like running into a man wearing a George W. Bush t-shirt with a Ralph Nader hat. Don't do it, because it just doesn't make sense!

This post was wrtten between the hours of 3:00 PM and 4:00PM

2006-11-04T15:43:00.000-05:00

It came to my attention last night that Los Angeles Lakers shooting guard Kobe Bryant switched his famous number 8 jersey to number 24. Last year, Kobe's number 8 jersey ranked fifth in the league in sales. So, why would he change to number 24?

Kobe began his high school basketball career at Lower Merion High School in Pennsylvania by wearing the number 24. He later switched in high school to number 33 in honor of his father "Jelly Bean" Bryant. Perhaps after ten years in the league, Kobe is hoping to drink from the fountain of youth by harkening back to his high school career.

The 24th President of the United States was Grover Cleveland. Cleveland, Ohio is home of the Cavaliers and LeBron James. Though the city is named after General Moses Cleaveland, not Grover, a connection can still be made. By wearing 24, Kobe may hope to call out the Cavs for a potential championship mathcup. Also, he could be hoping to one up LeBron's number 23.

With the midterm elections around the corner, Kobe may be hoping to encourage people to vote by wearing the number 24. The 24th Amendment states,

The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.

P. Diddy had "Vote or die." Kobe has the number 24.

After admitting to adultery, Kobe bought his wife a four million dollar, eight-karat, purple diamond ring. Kobe may be saving up enough money to buy a 24-karat ring for his wife, and the 24 could be a subtle form of foreshadowing.

2006 NFL Draft Picks and Their Midseason Grades

2006-11-04T11:52:00.000-05:00

by: Josh

It seems like yesterday that the anticipation of the NFL Draft was upon us. Houston held the first overall pick and all fingers pointed towards them using that pick to select the future face of the NFL, Reggie Bush. When sudden reports started springing out of Houston camp that they had signed "Super" Mario Williams, a Defensive End out of North Carolina State, the draft took a turn that no one had forseen. Instead of Houston revamping their defense with the new "golden boy," New Orleans got a player that could carry a city in shambles, on his back. The rest of the first round continued to be interesting, full of questionable picks and picks that would put struggling teams in the right direction. I will be examining fives picks at a time each week, for the next couple weeks.

1. Houston Texans- "Super" Mario Williams, NC St. DE.
Super Mario instantly became a player to watch this year in the NFL with the added pressure to perform because he was the first pick of the draft. He is added to a team that has struggled defensively ever since they entered the league in 2002. Experts said that he would add speed and strength to a defensive line that never really got to the quarter back. Early in the season he struggled and was called out by his coach Gary Kubiak. Williams responded the next game by getting a sack, 3 tackles and recovering a fumble. Though he has not been dominant on the defensive line as of yet, he could be an outstanding end for years to come in this league.
Grade:B+

2. New Orleans Saints- Reggie Bush, USC RB/WR
Reggie Bush has done a lot for the city of New Orleans in his few months of being there. His team mates and he have given a city more hope than any amount of money could. They have won games this season in which analysts hadn't even given them a shot, and they have won games in a variety of ways. Bush hasn't be a scoring machine that he was in college so far, but he has been effective in the offensive scheme that coach Sean Payton has installed for the Saints. Bush has been most effective in the return game where he has already scored a touchdown off of a punt return. He has yet to score an offensive touchdown and minor injuries have slowed him down a bit, but Bush will one day be a Saint great. When he finishes his career, he'll be seen as the player who brought the jazz and soul back to a city in need.
Grade: A-

3. Tennessee Titans- Vince Young, Texas QB
Watching the National Championship game last year, I knew that this kid was going to be special. He would still need work to become a good NFL quarterback, but he had all the talent in the world. When the Titans selected him over Former Heisman winner Matt Leinart, many questioned why they wouldn't have picked Leinart to give Offensive Coordinator Norm Chow a chance to work with someone he was familiar with. However after seeing him play over the past few weeks, I believe that the Titans made a good decision. He'll have growing pains, which is expected for a rookie quarterback, but he will be a strength of this team for years to come. I was disappointed in the front office when they decided to get rid of veterans Steve McNair and Billy Volek. It would have given Young a chance to see how an NFL offense was run, instead he was given the errant Kerry Collins to be his mentor. After a couple lousy games, the controls were given to the rookie and so far he's been teaching the vet a lesson. His legs will give him the ability to make plays, but until he gets really comfortable in the speed of the game mistakes will occur.
Grade: A

4. New York Jets- D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Virigina OT
Originally Ferguson was thought to be a possible pick for the Texans at the #1 spot, but emergence of Mario Williams slid him down a couple of spots. He was seen as one of the most NFL tackles coming out of the draft in years, but with Offensive lineman being busts in recent years, I'm sure many were wary of this pick. Robert Gallery and Mike Williams are just two examples of high first round picks the last few years that just haven't panned out for their respective teams. Through the hype and the criticism, Ferguson has been very consistant for a team that was predicted of having no chance of even winning four games this year. He has been an important part of an improved line that has given Chad Pennington more time and protection. In my mind this was the most glaring issue on this football team at the April draft and their pick of Ferguson filled that void.
Grade: A-

5. Green Bay Packers- A.J. Hawk, Ohio State OLB
There is only one word to describe the Green Bay defense: Awful. Hawk was an extremely productive linebacker in college and Green Bay had no productive linebacker at the professional level. Since their defense had many holes in it, it was wise of them to focus on a position where they could have an "impact" player. Hawk has been okay so far, but really hasn't been the impact player that the Packers thought they were getting. This season is still young and I realize this, but I honestly thought that he would be a leading candidate for Defensive Rookies of the Year, instead of college team mate Donte Whitner(Bills) and Bears fifth round pick DE Mark Anderson from Alabama. I can't say that he has been bad, because he has made sure tackles and made plays he is supposed to, but he hasn't done anything spectacular that you see EXCELLENT NFL linebackers do. Hawk will become a solid linebacker with time, but other rookies selected lower in the first round have out performed him thus far.
Grade: C+

A Dose of Truth

2006-11-03T18:16:00.000-05:00

by Paul

Rob Garibaldi was a 15 year old 5’9”, 130 pounds baseball player on a scout team sponsored by the California Angels. Believed to be too small, his coaches and scouts told him to bulk up and even provided him with supplements like creatine in order to do so. At the University of Southern California, Rob, now 5’11”, 160 pounds, had even more professional potential but still lacked size. This time Rob turned to anabolic steroids. He gained the fifty pounds and lived up to his promise.

Taylor Hooton was a pitcher for his Plano West Senior High School baseball team and had dreams of playing pro ball like his cousin Burt. Taylor was well-liked and talented and was looking to assert himself in his senior year. In a chemistry class, he told his friend that he was going to begin to use steroids, not for baseball, but for himself. Taylor was always concerned with his image and added thirty pounds of muscle to his 6’2” frame.

Efrain Marrero had a great high school career as an offensive lineman and went on to play football at the junior college level. He decided to move from the line to middle linebacker in order to attract more attention. However, that transition required a massive body transformation. Efrain turned to steroids in order to make this change.

On October 1, 2002 Rob Garibaldi shot himself in his car. Leading up to this point, Rob’s parents noted his weight gain, added muscle mass, balding, acne, and uncontrollable rage, but were ignorant as to these being the side effects of steroids. Rob was admitted to the Psychiatric Emergency Services in Santa Rosa, California after assaulting his dad and threatening to kill himself. He ended up losing all he loved in life, baseball, after he was dismissed from the USC team. Rob spiraled into a deep depression and took the only way out he saw, committing suicide.

One month after his seventeenth birthday, July 12, 2003, Taylor Hooton’s parents found him hanged in his bedroom. Taylor killed himself after entering a depressed state due to withdrawal after he stopped using the steroids. Once again, his parents were naïve to the side effects of steroids, many of which he exhibited. His parents made him take a drug test, one that only screened recreational drugs, not steroids. While taking Deca 300 and anadrol, Taylor showed behavior different from his norm. He stopped using before a family vacation, and killed himself after he returned.

Efrain Marrero broke his parents’ hearts when he shot himself on September 26, 2004. Unlike the Garibaldi’s and the Hooton’s, Efrain’s parents became aware of their son’s steroid use three weeks before his suicide. He came forward and confessed everything to them. They brought their son to a doctor and a counselor and Efrain stopped. He stopped too suddenly. Steroid users need to be gradually taken off the drugs and monitored carefully for symptoms of depression. Efrain was not, and suicide was the result.

A goal was in sight for Rob, Taylor, and Efrain. Professional or collegiate athletics provided the opportunity for each of them to be appreciated for their hard work. However, because they did not have an ideal body type, each athlete added steroids to their hard work. Like so many high school athletes, Rob, Taylor, and Efrain decided to take steroids unaware that the drugs would control the lives, and ultimately end them.

It is estimated that between 500,000 and one million high school students use steroids. Shockingly, according to a University of Michigan study, as many as three percent of eighth graders have been found using steroids. Not just athletes are users. Students take steroids for myriad different reasons. Whether they want to enhance athletic performance, gain confidence, or attract attention from the opposite sex, students turn to the easily attainable drugs without a full understanding of the side effects.

With a plethora of different types of steroids, side effects are diverse in both frequency and intensity. The main health risks include infertility, atrophied testicles, high blood pressure, liver damage, and prostate cancer. These more severe effects may not appear until twenty or thirty years after steroid use. The visible side effects during use include severe back acne, male pattern baldness, rapid growth of muscle mass, feminization in men including the development of breasts, and masculinization in women including facial hair growth. In addition, mood swings and ‘roid range are uncontrollable by steroid users. The constant turbulence present in a user’s mind leads to depression and suicide as evident in the above cases.

Last March, six football players from Daniel Hand High in Madison were arrested for possession. Connecticut state legislators are currently reviewing mandatory testing programs for high school athletes, which is a hot issue across the country. Whether at the state or national level, senators and congressmen have been debating the pros and cons of these programs. They will protect student athletes and the integrity of teens, but also may be considered an invasion of privacy.

Testing is done in very few high schools across the country. The main reason for this deficiency is money. Each test costs fifty dollars to administer. With 259 students participating in Redcoat athletics this past fall, testing each athlete would have cost $12,950. That cost covers only one of the three sports seasons. It is impossible for any athletic director to fund steroid testing at such a cost. Our school tells athletes what not to take during parent/athlete sports nights before each season, but more needs to be said about the side effects and dangers of steroid use.

Responsibility should not fall on the school alone. State and federal funding should help decrease the cost of testing. Steroid abuse should be a subject in the state mandated health education programs. Starting in middle school, teens need to learn about the dangers of steroid use, just as they are educated about the dangers of recreational drugs.

The problem of steroid use cannot be ignored. We cannot push the blame on the influences of professional athletes when the subject of steroids remains taboo in school systems. Cleaning up professional athletics will aid the problem in one respect, but unless teens become fully aware of the steroids epidemic, we will be fighting a losing battle.

Chris Kaman

2006-11-03T17:15:00.000-05:00

by: Paul

Think NBA. Think Los Angeles. No, the other team. The Clippers. When I think of the Clippers, I think of Chris Kaman. Chris Kaman is one weird looking man. I'm not saying he's ugly or pretty, that's not for me to decide. But he does remind me of a few other people:

Yes, he looks like the caveman from the Geico commercials

Yes, he looks like Riff Raff from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

But he bears a striking resemblance to: